Diane Feinstein: An Unanswered Mystery of the World

Some of life’s more imponderable marvels are: Is the Loch Ness Monster real? Where is the Ark of the Covenant? Where is the Holy Grail? Where is the location of Atlantis? And the most imponderable of all: Why is Diane Feinstein not incarcerated?


Obama Releases Statement about Buzzing New York with Air Force One

Washington–White House Press Secretary, Robert Gibbs, released an official statement from Barack Obama apologizing to anyone who may or may not have been under the perception of being upset by Air Force One, with an F-16 in pursuit, buzzing ground zero in New York, various buildings along the Hudson, rattling office windows in a no fly zone where the last time a jet graced these skies, it slammed into the World Trade Center towers, across the Verrazano  Bridge, then for good measure, buzzed the Statue of Liberty’s head, all the while terrorizing anyone in sight.


Department of Homeland Security Releases Images of Radical Right-Wing Extremists

Janet Napolitano, head of the Department of Homeland Security, at the behest of Barack Obama, released images of radical right-wing subversives that threaten the very existence of Hope and Change, and quite frankly, scares the bejesus out of Obama and the Democratic Party. The images were obtained after entering highly unambiguous data into the Homeland Security and FBI super-computers to generate specific images to match the ideas and activities of the Obama administration’s new criteria for radical extremists. This project was rushed so as to coincide with the radical and morally unsettling tea parties that pervaded the sanctimonious fabric of this great nation on April 15th.


Is Texas A Terror State?

According to the Secretary of the Department of Homeland Security, Janet Napolitano, Texas fits the Department’s profile of domestic terrorism in their newly released report titled, ” Right-wing Extremism: Current Economic and Political Climate Fueling Resurgence in Radicalization and Recruitment”. Islamic extremists’ acts of domestic terrorism were recently given the dignity, by Napolitano and Obama, of being classified as man-made disasters, and abroad,  the “war on terror” has been reclassified as an “overseas contingency plan”. But an entire non-Islamic class, or perhaps entire states, according to the report, are not afforded such considerate and cordial titles if they are anti-abortion, tend to harbor returning soldiers stationed in the Middle East, aid and abet the reintegration of military personnel into civilian life within their borders, are anti-illegal immigration, are anti-gun control, possess Christian views, are against high taxes, and are opposed to the overreaching power of the federal government.


Barack Obama Releases Statement on Samolian Pirates

Barack Obama has released a press statement concerning the end to the U.S. and Somalian pirate standoff.


Iowa Supreme Court Keeps Judicial Activism Alive and How it Affects You

This past week, the Iowa Supreme Court ruled with such activism that it rivals the, more often than not, overturned 9th Circuit Court of Appeals.  The Iowa Supreme Court ruled the 10 year old Iowa statute that established the gender and age parameters of Iowa marriage laws is unconstitutional, and thus legalized same sex marriage. Iowa code 1999: Section 595.2, Subsection 1 was the malignant statute that stated: Only a marriage between a male and a female is valid. This ruling, by this court, is unadulterated and plenary judicial activism.


Obama Did Not Bow To Saudi King Regardless of What You See

After spending the bulk of his overseas trip apologizing for the audaciously arrogant predilection of these United States, groveling for other country’s money, and inviting Turkey to join the E.U.,  Barack Obama “appeared” to bow to Saudi King Abdullah. But there is a reasonable explanation as to Obama’s  simian carriage.  The White House has, and with sound photographic evidence, denied that Obama was bowing; he was merely doing as most people do when they shake with both hands–bend over and get their face as close to their double-clasped hands as possible.  The official White House press release: “It wasn’t a bow. He grasped his hand with two hands, and he’s taller than King Abdullah,” said an Obama aide, who spoke on the condition of anonymity.

But a forensic examination of the photo has revealed a much more reasonable explanation of Obama’s voluntarily stooped posture: With a magnification of X75, a distinct floor based teleprompter can be seen at the base of the King’s feet. Mystery solved.

Barack Obama Unplugged, Unrehearsed, Untelepromptered, and Embarrassingly Unaware

Barack Obama, the “Greatest Orator in the WorldTM“*, took Europe by storm this past week after realizing that he was running out of money in the U.S., attempted to spend Europe’s money. With all his talk about spending their money, he validated the adage that guests and fish start to stink after three days. Obama then peregrinated to Turkey to apologize for America being…America, and to praise and embrace the Muslim faith with his fantastic oratory prowess. Please click the link below and discover how the “Greatest Orator in the WorldTM” handled an extremely complex question from a bonafide journalist that was neither hand picked nor had their question pre-approved by the Obama staff, and was forced to flail about without a teleprompter. Witness, again, a horrifying flashback of the Saddleback debate as Obama tries to speak and think at the same time without his de rigueur teleprompter.  Please, if after this agonizing 3 minutes, you have any idea what Obama said, or its relevance to anything that America has destroyed or insulted, please let me know.

*all oration must come from pre-approved questions, one teleprompter and one back-up teleprompter, a minimum of 24 hours practice, a gentle audience of admirers of no more than 100, and a crew of 47 to direct and film.