Anthony Weiner Dethroned by Raw, Naked Morality

Anthony Weiner has resigned from his seat in the United States House of Representatives. This is surprising, as Weiner emphatically resisted resigning his seat. Weiner, as a cape and tights wearing super hero disguised as a politician, which originated from his Twitter account, suffered a very short reign as far as indiscreet scepter brandishing super heroes go. All super heroes have one lethal weakness. Superman’s Achilles heel was kryptonite, and Weiner’s was morality. Generally, when caped politicians of flaccid character come face to face with the power of substantive morality wielded by a patron saint of morality, and in this case Ginger Lee, and her pettifogger of the legal profession Gloria Allred, a hasty withdrawal from public intercourse ensues.

Weiner,46, has been a member of the House of Representatives from New York’s 9th congressional district since 1999, served on the New York City Council from 1992 to 1998, and was an aide to former U.S. Representative Schumer from 1985 to 1991. He graduated with a Bachelor of Arts degree in political science from State University of New York at Plattsburgh. Anthony Weiner has lived off taxpayer money since graduating college, is devoid of any functional, usable, or demanded skill, and has never produced, created, or contributed anything of constructive value, and thus had no choice other than to resist resigning.

As with all liberals, other than committing crimes of such a nature as cutting taxes, budgeting, and following the Constitution, he can count on supporters. Perennial nihilist Richard Cohen, scrivener for the propagandist Washington Post, compares the Jewish Weiner to Christians and lions: “Another Christian has been thrown to the lions. The ‘Christian’ in this case is a Jew, and the lions are the news media but the general idea is the same.” Cohen’s statement is contemptible, incoherent, and offensive as he, and is no different than if he had stated the following: “Another black man has been lynched in the South, but the ‘black man’ in this case was a white man, and the rope was a refrigerator but the general idea is the same.”

Charlie Rangel was quick to assess the situation with his usual Socrates-esque philosophy:”He wasn’t going out with little boys. Other members of Congress had done things more immoral than Weiner.” At which point, Barney Frank, with his back to Rangel, but within earshot, did a flawless pirouette, and before he could open his mouth, Rangel said, “It wasn’t about you.”

Understanding Weiner’s nemesis and the agent of morality:

The crusader of morality, Ginger Lee, was able to resist Weiner’s sophisticated coercion and the graphic description of the instrument that had recently been complicit in impregnating his wife, to respond in kind. She was able to re-direct the conversations toward a more genteel and intellectual nature–a refined and cultivated characteristic she probably acquired in finishing school and continues to display with her current occupation. Ms. Lee, through the facilitation of her attorney Gloria Allred–the representative of the ignoble and plebeian–was able to present her apologia via a turnkey press conference. Once Weiner-gate went viral, Ginger Lee was compelled to speak, but only for the sanctity of the truth and definitely not for the media exposure for her “featured performer” artistic tour: “I think Anthony Weiner should resign because he lied to the public and the press for more than a week. It might never have turned into this if he had told the truth, but he kept lying.”

The only thing incredulous about her statement is she had the courage to go on record alleging a career politician lied to the public and the press for more than a week.

Lee continued:

We exchanged about 100 messages or so, and anytime that he would take our communication in a sexual direction, I did not reciprocate. I couldn’t. How could I? I knew that I couldn’t lie for him, but I couldn’t be the one who kicked him under the bus. I had not yet met Gloria. Once it got to a point that he lied on national television, then I knew that anything I said after that would have to be either a lie or an admission. I didn’t want to do either. It’s not like, you know, I’m doing that now.¬†So once my names became public and I was associated with a dirty sex scandal, I received like a 100 phone calls, messages, flowers, and a $500 gift card to Walmart from Gloria Allred. I finally just called her back, and we just hit it off. It was like we just had so much in common.

Ginger Lee came into this world November 25, 1983 as Tonya Short. One of the characteristics of most Americans of stature and elite social hierarchy is to have a trail of aliases. Tonya Short, aka Ginger Lee, aka Abbie Lebon, aka Ginger Vicious, aka Candace Raines, and aka Tonya Trzebny, is no exception.

In her selfless quest to spread morality and education to a specific segment of the populace, she has sacrificed her time, effort, and body to make films of an educational and public awareness genre. She has been a “featured performer” dealing with various subject matters in her 50+-filmography career. Although I have never personally reviewed any of her films, the titles and the depth of her character manifest the content. A truncated list of her contributions, film titles, and their subject matter:

My Dirty Angel. Tonya Trzebny is able to put to use the Doctor of Divinity degree, or Divinitatis Doctor–as she refers to it when exercising her Latin–she received from The University of Oxford, which she acquired during her stay in England. This is obviously a reference about stumbling upon an angel, dirty and disheveled from being disoriented and lost and wandering the mean streets of Macon, Georgia. In the mode of the movie Splash, and the television series Mork and Mindy, family-friendly hijinks ensue.

Beaver Hunt 4.¬†Ginger Vicious’ master’s degree in Zoology and ethological training comes in handy in this heartwarming family-friendly documentary about a group of young and socially conscience scientists who have their physical and emotional limits tested while studying a family of beavers that have erected a damn blocking a crucial water supply for a small town. To save the town, they would have to ravage the beaver’s dam, and to save the beavers and their damn, they would have to leave the town impotent without water.

Swallow This. Candace Raines is able to use her advanced degree in Ornithology and her Doctor of Veterinary Medicine in this documentary about the quest to capture and administer oral antibiotics to a family of barn swallows suffering from a rare form of an avian bacterial infection (Allredebus famehorebus), which is causing the swallows to migrate to a Los Angeles television station, forsaking their natural habitat and breeding grounds.

Stuffin Young Muffins 5. Abbie Lebon is documented just days from earning her Master of Liberal Arts at the Le Cordon Bleu School of Culinary Arts. Her culinary magnum opus is a delectable and savory serving of muffins stuffed with various sweets and a dash of forbidden fruit. It takes a very adventurous palate to appreciate a freshly stuffed muffin, as revealed in this charming and enlightening documentary.

Gloria Allred can serve two immediate and necessary functions for Ginger Lee, aka Abbie Lebon, Ginger Vicious, Candace Raines, and Tonya Trzebny: first, to act as a firewall between the above group of legitimate personalities Tonya Short has cultivated through the years, and the undeserved pejoratives being associated with the various entities, such as “porn star,” “stripper,” and “prostitute,” and second, to broker and negotiate film and appearance deals so the group can cash-in before the customary 15 minutes are up, and 15 minutes of infamy is Gloria Allred’s specialty.

Ginger Lee is a performer and refused to call herself a stripper during one of Gloria Allred’s turnkey news conferences. A “featured performer” is what she insists on being referred as–just as one would refer to a professional ballerina. During her non-sexual and purely political messages to Weiner, Lee referred to herself as the “most famous stripper in America right now.” But as Allred countered, “That is just hearsay and should be disregarded and stricken from the record.”

The entire entourage of Ginger Lee, Abbie Lebon, Ginger Vicious, Candace Raines, and Tonya Trzebny will be taking their morality show on the road, as should all sophisticated moralists, by performing in a nude, writhing, and gyrating non-sexual manner in a room of inebriated men with fists full of dollars. They made their first appearance at the most cosmopolitan and elegant of establishments in Atlanta, Georgia, the Pink Pony gentleman’s club. They were the “featured performer.” Tony Short and her band of morally crippled “performers” will do fine until relegated to the dustbin of irrelevance, as have all of Allred’s 15 minutes of notoriety clientele.

Ginger Lee has a website/blog that lists the various urbane performing arts she will perform for money: “Feature Dancing, Fashion Nudes, Art Nudes, Glamour and Glamour Nudes, Interviews, Lingerie. Please don’t send me media/interview/press questions through this profile, contact my attorney, Gloria Allred.”

And for poor under-qualified Weiner, no sooner than he had pulled his pants back up, he had a job offer. He received a legitimate letter from Larry Flynt: “After having learned of your sudden and compelled resignation from your Congressional post, I would like to make you an offer of employment at Flynt Management Group, LLC in our internet group.”

Flynt elaborated, “This offer is not made in jest,” and he is “willing to pay twenty percent more than your former Congressional salary, ensuring that your medical benefits would be equal to what you were previously receiving.”

So a very happy ending for all. Ginger Lee et al. are able to perform in her chosen field of artistry, Anthony Weiner has received a generous job offer for what may be the only job a career politician is qualified for outside prison or the mafia, and the preeminent headline-seeking attorney was once again in the national spotlight, and again was able to demonstrate that she can be seedier than any client she represents.

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