Obama Loses Three More Appointees
Washington–In yet another calamitous setback for the Obama administration, three more appointees have been asked to remove their names from consideration: Annette Nazareth as Deputy Treasury Secretary; Caroline Atkinson as Director of International Affairs; and Sanjay Gupta as Surgeon General, respectively.
Ms. Nazareth’s vetting process started unraveling when a simple misunderstanding about her governing methodology manifested itself from a transpositioned phrase discovered in a memo making its nomadic journey through Congress. The memo stated Nazareth was “to Los Angeles International Airport a regulator”. After several meetings by the congressional deciphering committee (which is usually only used for bills they write), followed by a deciphering retreat in Vail, it was ascertained that the memo’s denotation meant she was a very strict proponent of financial regulation; and as punishment, she sent sub-standard regulators to LAX to finish out their public service careers. A 16 year old congressional page disinterred the true intent of the congressional hieroglyphics contained within the memo to mean, quite simply, that Nazareth was “too lax a regulator” at the SEC–a blatant indiscretion that would most certainly cause teeth gnashing within the Obama administration. Though antithetical to the Obama doctrine, Nazareth’s nomination was still being entertained since the White House is running out of options.
Caroline Atkinson seemed to be gliding smoothly through the vetting process, until an unsurmountable folly reared its head, but will be subsequently addressed in due time.
Lastly, Sanjay Gupta was asked to withdraw his name from the nomination process in unison with Nazareth and Atkinson. Gupta has a very successful career with CNN as a medical correspondent, and is a highly respected surgeon. His presence on television and his experience working with a teleprompter was seen as a perfect match between him and Obama. But the discomfiture that afflicted the vetting process of Nazareth and Atkinson also seems to have infected the background of Gupta.
The three candidates have expressed frustration with the laborious vetting process. Nazareth, whose nomination was slightly off-kilter with her lax regulatory stance, complained about the Obama administration’s weeks long process and their focus concerning only ethics–especially taxes. Atkinson experienced the same treatment in regard to her taxes, as did Gupta.
After several weeks of intense interrogations about back taxes and ethics, the Obama vetting team, FBI, CIA, NSA, IRS, and Mosad, it was determined that the team of three had paid all taxes in a timely manner, and they were determined to be scandal free. They were each summarily dispatched a letter advising them, for future job prospects, they could publicly withdraw their names from contention rather than be dismissed. Reason: they were not the caliber of personnel Obama prefers to associate with.
Nazareth, speaking on condition of anonymity, stated that she was told, off the record, that even though she was “too lax a regulator”, if she had only hired just one illegal housekeeper for a couple of months and not paid her taxes, she would have been a shoe-in. She also stated that the Obama administration told her they would deny any knowledge of the conversation. Nazareth said that her contact kept mumbling something about her not being Obama’s first Kinsley gaffe, or a giraffe, or something.
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